“It’s A Good Thing We Don’t Have a Webcam”
Jocks and Jocularity at Idaho Sports Talk
“Sometimes prosecution in exchange for a conviction on one will drop the other. Depends on how much he resisted or obstructed; agree or disagree Mike Prater who has more police experience than I do even.”
“Never ran from a cop, though. Don’t ever run from a cop.”
-Jeff Caves and Mike Prater, Idaho Sports Talk May 14, 2015
Sitting on the corner of 15th and Bannock, the Cumulus Radio Building is home to the city’s longest-running news talk station, a classic rock station, two country stations, and KTIK “The Ticket”, the broadcast home of Idaho Sports Talk. The building itself looks straight out of the 1970s manual of non-descript building architecture. Walking up to the building, a small set of stairs lead to the main lobby. At the base of those steps sits an intercom box with a large red button and a sign that says “Please press button for wheelchair assistance”. There is no ramp for handicap access.
Jeff Caves greets me in the lobby, which is sparsely decorated with a few vinyl loveseats, a plaque commemorating the 2003 Boise State football squad, an 8×12 photo of the Cumulus family’s various production trucks, a theatrical-sized poster of Faith Hill with a set of platinum compact discs inlaid into it.
Caves has short dark hair, a weathered square face and is a burly man dressed in dark gray business slacks, a blue button-up oxford shirt with the top button undone and a dark gray jacket that looks as though it fits just a tad snug on the man. I make a point to shake his hand firmly, since he appears to me to be a man who would judge you poorly for having a weak handshake. According to his business card, Caves is the Senior Account Executive in the Sales Department, but he is best know for his radio work on KTIK and KBOI where he was once the color commentator for Boise State football games. He excuses himself so he can change his clothes and returns wearing a long sleeved, lime-green dry-fit shirt and shorts. Caves looks more prepared for a workout than talking about sports, but he is the one who is going to spend three hours in the studio, so I won’t judge.
Caves leads me past a set of cubicles to the various studios housed in the Cumulus Building. Many of the studios we pass are spacious and fully visible to anybody who passes by. The DataTel Studio is not one of these. The home of Idaho Sports Talk is roughly the size of a teenager’s bedroom, divided into two rooms, one where three microphones are set up in front of a desk with two computer monitors, and the other which is packed with two computer monitors, a sound board, stacks of radio equipment both on top of and underneath the desk.
As we walk in the studio, John Patrick, referred to as “JP” is getting ready for the show after the previous show’s hosts vacate the studio. JP is dressed like he is preparing for unseasonable cold weather in a fleece sweater and faded blue jeans. Caves asks if I brought pizza, to which I reply in the negative. This brings a disappointed sigh to JP who is a notorious pizza enthusiast and “paid endorser” for Domino’s, who he frequently does radio spots for.
When Caves asks JP the time remaining to the start of the show (two minutes), there is no sign of Mike Prater, the one-time columnist and current sports page editor for the Idaho Statesman. With less than a minute until the show goes live, Prater walks in. Prater is a bit on the heavyset side with a gray goatee and is wearing an all-black Seattle Seahawks cap and a polo shirt.
Caves introduces me to Prater, where I mention that we had previously met twenty years earlier when I was working on a school newspaper assignment. “Wow, I can’t remember two minutes ago.” This is the kind of shtick Prater has been working with for years. Prior arrests, marriages and other debauchery from Prater’s younger days and even his weight are open season. Prater even revels in making himself the butt of the joke, as evidenced by the first five minutes of the broadcast I am witness to.
The hot national story of the day was “Deflategate”, which involved the New England Patriots and their star quarterback Tom Brady being implicated in a scheme to tamper with the air pressure of the game-used footballs. The Patriots issued a very long rebuttal to the conclusion of the investigation, which led to instant fodder for the show’s hosts.
“To say that the word deflate was about a fat guy trying to lose weight? Are you serious?”
“It’s called deflated, Prater,” responds Caves in deadpan mockery.
Prater takes this moment to present his impression of the stereotypical outraged sportswriter-turned media personality: “Call me deflated – I want to be known as The Deflator from now on. I want all the liners changed, I want my paycheck changed…”
“Prater the Deflator!” chimes an interrupting Caves.
JP, giggling throughout the exchange provides his two cents: “Prater, I just changed the liners, I’m not doing it again.”
Prater the Deflator and “Deflategate” become a running gag through the rest of the show. Midway through the show, in an effort to pass time between segments, Caves came across the transcripts of a text message exchange between two of the conspirators in the fiasco and devised a bit where he and Prater would recite the exchange for their listening audience. In an effort to placate his co-host, Prater plays along with the Caves’ impromptu radio drama following several moments of confusion (“I don’t even know what this is”).
Prater starts the dialogue, speaking as “JM”: “What’s up Dorito-Dink?”
Caves recites along as the next participant in the dialogue. “Nada.”
“When’s the Pong party, I’m on fire.”
“OMG”.
JP starts laughing hysterically at this point, making the reason clear why he has to press a button to make his microphone audible.
Meanwhile, Prater continues to recite his lines. “Bring it.”
“You still with your women?”
“Yep.”
“You must have had her [omitted out of respect to Mrs. Jastremski]”
“You must have a picture of her.”
Caves can’t control his laughter at this point and struggles to deliver his next line. “OMG!”
“You workin’?”
“Yup.”
“Nice dude. Jimmy needs some kicks. Let’s make a deal.” In a pregnant pause that is loud in its silence, the punch line finally dawns on Prater and he smirks and slowly shakes his head as he delivers it. “Come on…help the deflator.”
Caves hoots triumphantly having gotten one over on his co-host yet again. JP is smacking the desk in glee, holding back tears. “I’m getting that one. I’m cutting it for the next liner.”
The interplay between Caves and Prater is like something out of classic vaudeville. Caves is animated and exuberant throughout the broadcast constantly moving and prodding his partner, while Prater acts in the role of the straight-man, cool and detached, yet more often than not finds himself at the business end of the jokes.
While Caves is the class clown, and Prater is in with the jocks, then by default, JP is a full-fledged member of the A.V. Club in this trio, and very proud of it. As I sit in on the broadcast, JP fills me in on the minutiae of how the show works, from where the drops he uses on segments such as “Wheel of Games”, a daily trivia segment where a listener calls in to match wits with the hosts, or the “Negative Instant Messages” are located on his computer, to how he used to do his job before computers. What he’s most proud of is the collection of videos he takes from his iPhone and edits into short movies that he posts on YouTube. What makes him a professional is how he takes all this time to play host to me and almost never misses a beat with the show (Caves will chime in with a “Do you agree or disagree, John Patrick?” at a moment’s notice, regardless of whether JP is cutting audio segments, lining up a guest or screening callers).
Three hours is a long time to be stuck in a small space with anybody trying to fill up airtime on a relatively slow news day, and the hosts begin to visibly tire out. Commercial breaks earlier spent discussing the day’s news become occasions for Prater to catch up on e-mails from the Statesman while Caves spends his time fiddling around on his computer reading Twitter or Facebook.
Having to “manufacture content” as JP puts it, makes for a difficult broadcast and the prospects for the next day don’t look better as they discuss what they’ll prep for the next day. While they’re replaying an interview that already aired earlier in the broadcast. “Maybe we can promote the last show in Idaho Sports Talk history,” quips Caves, to which nobody responds. JP lets them know that they still don’t have a promo for the next day’s show. With the end of the broadcast nearing, Caves and Prater figure out what they’ll promote (Rocky Mountain High’s perfect record and more Preakness Stakes content) and cut a promo within two minutes of JP’s warning. Prater stumbled his line, saying Thursday instead of Friday, but corrects himself and finishes his line. True to his abilities, JP cuts out the mistake and finalizes the promo. Nobody would have been able to tell that Prater’s blooper ever happened.
The “Negative Instant Messages” wrap up the day’s show, where the hosts take the last five minutes to read snarky messages submitted online on KTIK”s website by listeners posing as “A-Rod from New York”, “Harold Balsac”, “Barry Bonds” and “The Clerk from the Over 19 Adult Shop” among other pseudonyms of varying maturity levels.
JP cues up the Charlie Brown Christmas Special music as the messages read by Caves (in an over-the-top demeaning inflection) hurl insults toward the hosts, correct their Facebook grammar, and make fun of the day’s news. Being the final segment, this is the time for everybody to unwind and unload after a long broadcast. JP fires up the drops filled with sound bites from Dan Hawkins (“It’s not intramurals!”), Bob Kustra (“nasty and inebriated”), Butch Otter (congratulating BSU on a Super Bowl win) and various bloopers from IST’s archives (all are available to download on ktik.com thanks to JP).
The final segment is the final sigh, the last bit of relief reminding a sportswriter, a class clown who never grew up and the guy they beat up for lunch money that they are getting paid to talk about sports and should count themselves lucky that nobody better is trying to come to take their jobs.
